Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

This book made me laugh.

The characters live in an America that's controlled by The Corporation: Because Your Life Can Always Be Better. The Corporation fills the TV lineup with shows like "Captains Bodacious," about hot boy pirates, one version of which is "Captains Bodacious IV: Badder and More Boaciouser," and promotes such products as Lady 'Stache Off with triple beauty action (in addition to removing hair, it moisturizes and tans). The Corporation also sponsors the Miss Teen Dream Pageant, whose ratings sadly have been dropping.

The plane carrying the current contestants of the Miss Teen Dream Pageant crashes on an isolated island. The surviving girls figure out how to feed and shelter themselves, and then they discover that there's more going on on the island than they'd ever imagined. Such as arms deals and political intrigue. Also, they receive a visit from the Captains Bodacious pirates.

The story is totally, but subversively, over-the-top. Outrageous truths about today's media can be stated openly in a situation that is itself unbelievable. For instance, one of the messages from the story's sponsor says:

The Corporation would like to apologize for the preceding pages. Of course, it's not all right for girls to behave this way. Sexuality is not meant to be this way - an honest, consensual expression in which a girl might take an active role when she feels good and ready and not one minute before. No. Sexual desire is meant to sell soap. And cars. And beer. And religion.

Although I don't agree with all of the opinions expressed, BEAUTY QUEENS is a good starting point for discussions on a variety of subjects affecting teens (and non-teens) today, whether they're beauty queens or not.

For instance, one of the contestants is black but wants to compete as just a young woman, not a young black woman. While I sympathize and mostly agree that she should be able to compete without worrying about how she is representing her race or how her actions will affect all black Miss Teen Dream contestants after her, I don't think that's possible right now. I know that people make judgments about my race and religion based on their acquaintance with me, and that, if I want their conclusions to be positive, I have the responsibility to behave appropriately (not that I always do). I don't know how to change this, but the book at least brings the issue to people's attention.

I wish I'd remembered to write down a quote I really liked, but I didn't, so here's a summary. A couple of the characters talk about how their situation started off like a female LORD OF THE FLIES, with them being marooned on an island. But unlike the boys who lost themselves to their primitive urges and degenerated into wildness, the girls find themselves, thriving in an environment free from media-fueled artificial expectations. They discover new abilities when they suddenly have to do things for themselves that no one in their regular lives would have expected of them. So how can we create island experiences for our girls today?

I'll end with a quote that made me laugh. Adina, Miss New Hampshire, is acting as the interviewer for Jennifer, Miss Michigan, as the girls practice their pageant skills.

Jennifer relaxed. "Sorry. I don't mean to get all up in your face. I'm just not used to this beauty stuff."

"You aren't?"

"No. First time. My guidance counselor got me into it. Some new program they're trying out for at-risk girls." Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Like this isn't a gang. Please. It's the freakiest gang ever."

"Just curious: How did you manage to win Miss Michigan?"

"I didn't. I was second runner-up."

"What happened to the winner?" Adina asked.

"She tripped."

"And the first runner-up?"

Miss Michigan cracked her knuckles. "She tripped, too."

Adina swallowed hard. "Right. So, Miss Michigan, can you tell us about your platform? Please. I mean, if you're okay with that."

"Oh. Sure. My platform's called Don't Even Think About It. I go into schools and I say, 'Whatever bad thing it is you're thinking of doing, don't even think about it. 'Cause I can see into your soul, and I will hide in your closet and come for you in the night, and the last sound you ever hear will be my sharp teeth popping through the flesh of my gums, ready to eat you.' Their eyes get all big. It's awesome. I love little kids, man. They're the cutest."

"Next!" Adina practically shouted.

(Part of this post filched from my Goodreads review)